Noah the movie

I’ve just come back from watching Russell Crowe’s latest movie called Noah.

What do I think in one word? I can’t.  There are many words that can be used to describe this film, and I’m going to give it a go.

If you want to see a more Biblical account, go and watch the Hanna Barbera version.

Have a watch of this modern day trailer first.

It’s being hailed as “Big, Bold and Beautiful as the Biblical story that inspired it” and I would have to disagree.

There are going to be spoilers in this review too.

Firstly, if you are looking for an accurate Biblical interpretation of the Genesis Flood account, this is not the movie for you, and you will struggle to find appreciation of it.

Nowhere is the word “God” mentioned, only “Creator”. Now while I recognise that there are many people groups in the world that have their own ‘flood’ story, they all lead back to the Biblical account in some form, with some only having small elements of the account. The book of Esther also doesn’t have the word God in it either, but, that is a different story all together of how God saved his people. Throughout the film Noah was ‘spoken’ to – or at least in visions, through dreams, or just looking at the clouds and getting a revelation, rather than “God said to Noah“. Unfortunately there was no actual dialogue where God actually spoke to Noah, nor any background information on what was going on, as to why the world was destroyed.

I support creative license, and I think it’s a good thing to have a bit and show characters how they really are, and how they interact with each other, but I truly think this movie has taken it a little too far.

This movie is “inspired” by the Biblical Flood story, however I wonder why, if you were going to create a movie as epic as this, that you wouldn’t want to make it as true to the original story as possible, it seems to be a bit of a waste of resources.

This film will probably upset Christians, and confuse those who don’t know the Biblical story, and if you have a weak understanding of things of the flood, this will just help distort your views even further.

The movie started with explaining something known as “Watchers”, which can be paralleled with fallen angels, or even less loosely (in the film) connected to the Nephilim, but they are also a very long way from them too.

These “Watchers” were said to have come from the Creator, but for some reason they went to earth and the Creator wanted to torture them, and they landed in mud, crawled out, the mud turned to stone, and so we get these weird rock creatures that are almost something out of Narnia or Lord of the Rings, or even Transformers, which want to help the human race. This is not Biblical, and opens the way for poetic license. Strangely enough, it’s a long poem – of 2 hours.

Towards the end of the film, these Fallen Ones – the Watchers, look up to the sky and say “Creator, forgive me”, before they commit suicide. Poetic.

When it came to build the Ark, these Watchers wanted to help, and you seems them doing the work too – again, poetic.

There is a seed (which looked like a spikey seed) which had come from the Garden of Eden which was meant to be used to start the world after the flood too. Poetic.

The Minions get a mention… hmmm….

Creation is explained during the movie and given a quick 1-6 day walk-through, which I thought was a great thing, until I noticed that the creatures that are being described and visualised are walking you straight through the evolutionary cycle. You can’t have it both ways. Heresy.

The character of Noah was and interesting one. He was portrayed as a having a mean spirit, he was murderous and cold. I even saw one reviewer suggest it made him as a “homicidal maniac”. He also came across as the ultimate greenie as well, wanting to save the animals, because they were the innocent ones in all of this.

In Genesis 6, it talks about Noah, “These are the generations of Noah: Noah was a just man and perfect in his generations, and Noah walked with God.”, just like Enoch, who “walked with God”. One would assume that he was a good and upright guy, not necessarily portrayed in the same way the movie suggested. Do a quick search on those who “walked with God”, there aren’t many; just those who lived and then died.

There are some good special effects, but most of the movie is CG, and there were moments of humour, but not many. Most of the humorous parts were either from a grandparent in the film talking about getting some berries, or when things were being shown that were just so ridiculous we were laughing at them. There were even some weird mystical light balls, which just seemed weird.

A snake skin was also used to symbolise passing on the birthright to children, which considering there were numerous unexplained flashbacks to a snake, a fruit and a tree, didn’t really make too much sense either.

Apparently there was a stow-away on the boat too from the line of Cain, which Ham was secretly feeding, who got killed in the end.

There was one part that was correct at the end, where Noah had a few too many wines and ended up being found naked by Ham, but fortunately Shem and Japheth covered him up.

Officially there were 8 on the boat. In this movie there were 6 (not including the stowaway), because Noah’s 3 sons were all married, yet in the film, there were still young, and not all had wives.

There were plenty of Biblical inaccuracies and lots of poetical license. The problem is they started with an idea from the Bible and rewrote the story to be very loosely based on it.

I don’t have any plans to watch it again, but if you do, go and read the Biblical account of the story and get to know the true version, not the Hollywood one.

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